Transformational Mindset Mentoring For Single Moms

I help single moms transform their mindsets so they can fall in love with life and create a life of FREEDOM they absolutely love!

The Day I Realized My Marriage Was Over- Trippin’ Momma

The Day I Realized My Marriage Was Over

You would think I realized my marriage was over the day I found out my husband was having an affair.

Maybe it was the day I found out he had been having multiple affairs.

It could have been when I realized the extreme mind manipulation I was under by the person I trusted the most in this world.

It could have been me recognizing the constant emotional abuse I was enduring.

NOPE! None of those things made me realize it was time for a divorce. As devastated as I was, I was not ready to let him go. Sure… we separated and each of us found new places to live.

We separated our finances and pretty much everything else in our lives but he continued to be a big part of my life for 10 months after the initial filing of the divorce papers.

There was the illusion that I was a single mom but I really wasn’t. He still wrote me to ask me how I slept. He came over when I wasn’t feeling well or when I was overwhelmed with the baby. He stayed the night at times. He traveled with us and spent the day with us on holidays.

Sometimes, he took us all to the movies. I found myself falling right back into our marriage. I felt that I needed him. I couldn’t possibly live without him.

The same issues we had during our marriage carried on into our co-parenting relationship.

The arguments.

The games.

The lies.

The other women.

You Can Wake Up Now

That is because it was never a co-parenting relationship. It was a RELATIONSHIP! We were co-dependent on each other and it was not healthy for us or for the kids.

The day I realized my marriage was a hot July summer day in Austin, TX. The girls and I were staying in an Airbnb we absolutely loved. The Airbnb reminded me of a better time in life when it was just my two older girls and I. Before the extreme pain of emotional abuse. Before I lost myself and purpose in life.

Novella enjoying pudding in the Airbnb we loved. Click the photo to sign up for Airbnb.

My husband at the time came over to visit the girls and after another pointless argument and blow up, I had enough.

Finally, I snapped out of the spell he had on me. I finally realized that I needed to stand up for myself and for my girls. We were beyond repair, and I was not being a good example for my daughters by staying in this nightmare of a marriage.

I knew it was time to hire a lawyer and work on finalizing our divorce. I knew this would not go well with my husband. I knew it would be an absolute nightmare. I knew this would mean I would truly be a single mother. I knew that my girls could lose their father. I knew this would hit the girls and me hard financially, emotionally, and physically, but I also knew this was something I had to do.

The two weeks were tough. Very tough. I did my best to control my emotions but the truth was I was angry.

I was angry that my marriage had failed.

I was angry that my co-parenting relationship had failed.

I was angry that I handed over money that should have been used on the girls to a lawyer.

I was angry that I hadn’t done it sooner.

I was angry that I let my emotions get the best of me at times.

I was angry that someone I loved so much could hurt me and our girls so deeply. But… I soon realized that I was a lot happier.

The depression that plagued my life started to lift. The self-doubt that controlled my every thought disappeared, and despite my new role as a single mother, my energy levels increased. I didn’t expect this but I sure did embrace it. I made a vow to myself to see this through, to stay strong, and to never let another man take away my self-worth.

I took my life back.

You too can take your life back. You do not have to be stuck in a situation that steals your joy. You are worth so much more

How have you taken your life back?

Personally, I hire mentors, join masterminds, and I read badass self-help books. My favorite one is You are a Badass by Jen Sincero. She is brilliant and the book is life changing! You can start on your path of freedom by purchasing it here!


Click To Buy

If you want to read more about what taking my life back looks like, you can read all about our amazing journey of traveling full-time here.

18 thoughts on “The Day I Realized My Marriage Was Over- Trippin’ Momma

  1. Sharlene says:

    Girl, I love this! You are so talented with voicing what’s in your heart and mind! I would love to read more! But I hate that you had to go through something so painful, you and your girls. You’re a wonderful woman and I know God has something amazing for you! Stay strong Beautiful!

    1. Amoya Knudson says:

      Sharlene, thank you so much for your kind words. I firmly believe that the most challenging things in our lives help shape us into the people we are supposed to be. I have faith that through this pain, the girls and I will someday change lives.

  2. Odyssey says:

    Amoya! I am glad to see that you are using the things that has caused you pain to bring you peace and relief!
    Your volunerability will allow others to walk through their storms and grow!
    I wish you continued success and congrats on finding your strength for you and your girls!
    Love you girl!!

    1. Amoya Knudson says:

      Odyssey, your kind words are much appreciated. I think it is challenging to write about our personal lives in such a public forum. However, I think vulnerability and truthfulness are key in my path towards healing. Hopefully my words can help someone going through a similar situation. Love you too!

  3. Annette E. Uzoh says:

    Wow Amoya. I was very moved by your words…Thank you for sharing. I’m sure this was cathartic and healing for you to reveal. I am happy that you and your girls are in a much better space. God bless.

    1. Amoya Knudson says:

      Thank you, Annette. You are very right. Although this was extremely challenging to write and reveal, it was also necessary for healing. God bless!

  4. Monica Neal says:

    I’m so sorry for the pain your family had to go through. But your strength and beauty truly shows and your girls are so lucky to have an amazing mother! ❤

  5. Linda says:

    You and the girls are never alone. You have both Joe and I. It’s tough being a single parent but you have done a marvelous job raising your 2 older girls and I know you will be awesome at raising your youngest. I’m truly sorry for the pain you and the girls have endured. Let us know if there is anything we can do for you and the girls. I look forward to more of your writings with happier times for you and the family. Your writings are truly moving. You should consider writing a book and seeking out a publisher.

    1. Amoya Knudson says:

      Linda, your kind words are much appreciated. I truly do appreciate all the help you have Joe have been for the girls and I. I couldn’t have made it through a lot of the tough times without the both of you. I am definitely looking into writing a book in order to help others in this situation. Love you both bunches!

    1. says:

      Thank you, Kingteeuhh. I am thankful every day that I found the strength to leave.

  6. sheeatscreativity says:

    It takes a strong Woman to make a life decision like this and I think you will be a happier person in the long run. It’s a game changer and you deserve happiness 💕


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