In some situations, it’s better to be a single mom. Maybe you’re like me and had to leave a bad situation. Or maybe things just didn’t work out. Maybe he wasn’t even there for you from the moment you got pregnant. Whatever the case, even when it’s for the best, it can often feel like the worst.
Being a single mom with no help can be one of the loneliest things in life, if you let it. It’s easy to look at the obstacles in your way and feel fatigued from being both parents rolled into one. But those same challenges can be opportunities to triumph. Opportunities that help you rise above even when all hope seems lost.
I’d love to give you some strategies for not only surviving while being a single mom with no help but also thriving.
– Build your own routine
It’s not always easy to do, but when and where you can, establish routine for your kids. It could be nightly dinners together or a weekly ritual. Whatever it is, make it the rock from which you build your single-parent foundation.
– Join a support group
If your family lives far, it’s difficult to get help raising your kids on your own. That doesn’t mean you have to do it all alone though. There are other single moms like you too in your area. Find a support group where you can meet them. Remember, even with families that have 2 parents, it really does take a village to raise our kids so find your village. If you can’t find someone locally, check out support groups online. My Inner Circle membership group is a great group to join for support.
– Let go of the guilt
Even when leaving your spouse is the right thing to do for your safety, it’s hard not to feel riddled with guilt. You’ll drive yourself insane if you think about what you could have done to make it better but that’s nonsense. Trust your instinct and stop blaming yourself.
– Don’t overcompensate
Along with that guilt may come the fear that your children won’t turn out right if you don’t spoil them to make up for upending the family. No good can come from spoiling your kids with material things. If you want them to grow up into happy and well-adjusted adults, make TIME for them rather than spend your paycheck on more junk.
– Fill your cup
I think this one is the hardest for single moms to do because I know married moms that never take the time for themselves either. But it’s critical for your health and well-being. If you’re feeling healthy and capable, your children are going to get that vibe too. You’ve got to be good to yourself in order to be any good for them. Trust!
– Don’t wallow in negativity
I know firsthand how easy it is to sink into a pit of your own despair. It’s like a mud bath but not as relaxing or refreshing. Yes, you’re allowed to admit you’re having a hard time however you should never let it defeat you.
What’s that old saying? Oh yeah! “When the going gets tough, the tough get going!” You’re here and you’re doing an awesome job. Find the joy in the little things and you’ll find a way to go on, with or without any help at all.